no segues whatsoever {this entry was a bad idea. several of them.}
3:14 pm, Thursday, Oct. 27, 2005

Dear 57 minutes before midnight:

Why is it that you have become the time that plagues me most? My mind won't stop running tiny little circles around five or six stupid and/or tedious details from today/tomorrow and then tonight you add the fact that I Can. Not. get this song* out of my head.

But it's a good song and we all know that I'd be like this at 58 minutes and 54 minutes and 7 minutes and all the other numbers as well, so whatever.


I am planning {yet another} trip to Florida it looks like and I've begun to realize that a lot of my actions fit quite nicely with a description for a crazy person. These two things are not connected but very much are. It's much too much to go into explaining though.

There is a livejournal that I read every now and again. It's been about a year since the last time I read it until tonight when I happened to think of it again. There are so many people out there who I've never met {and let's face it, probably never will meet} who have a silly but lasting impact on me. Random items trigger random thoughts of them and I wonder if I do the same for anyone else.

I'm scared that I'm going to be alone forever. Or not scared, exactly. Maybe disappointed to continue to reach new levels of realization of the fact of it. Discussions today set off another round of it. This thought is like the monster in a horror movie. As things progress you can see it clearer and clearer, better angles and stronger lights every time it appears. Eventually it will be full screen straight on and devour me. {I hope you see how funny that whole analogy is.}

I am an old person. I downloaded the best of Natalie Merchant. And Level 42. And if you could see what's saved on my faux-tivo... it would be better if Murder, She Wrote was still on.** And you'd also think that I'm British.

Also, if I don't finish "The Historian" soon then I will have to write "The End" on whatever page I've gotten to when my patience finally snaps and call it a night. I've never cared so little about such an interesting story. The plot takes longer to develop than a very slow to develop thing indeed.

*The Magic Numbers - Love's a Game or, sometimes, Kate Bush - King of the Mountain. Yeah, I know. Shut up.

**I wouldn't really record that.

(Edit: I'm cleaning out my files at work and found this marked as "deleted entry" with the time and date and title I've put here. I no longer know why I deleted it and there were bits that I liked so I'm reposting it. Obviously, muliple things here no longer apply. Also obviously, muptiple tings here are ever the same.)