I've put off mentioning something here because there is someone I still haven't told. I've no idea when I will talk to this person and not much belief that this person still reads me here. But it seemed the more polite course to follow and I do try to do what I think is right. I'm not sure why I'm giving myself such strict rules of behavior in this case when following such is an incredibly one way street at times.

Anyway.

After eight and a half years I'm changing jobs. I'm going somewhere for less money and leaving behind retirement benefits and quite good health insurance. I am terrified about doing this both for obvious and non-obvious reasons. Clearly the money and the rest are scary things to give up. Not so clearly I am nearly debilitatingly afraid of change. I know this is ridiculous. But there it is.

There are other little changes I won't mention here. Things that are silly unless you are on the inside looking out. Things that even then are a bit silly.

Also. Browsing books online I came across a book that made me think a bit. {No, I will not be purchasing this book. I think it's already done as much as it could be expected to for me.} What stories have I told myself about who I am? Thinking about this fits in neatly with my currently upheaval. I have spent the better part of my adult life at this company and how can I have not been shaped by that? And how have I shaped myself to fit that? Now is a break off point and I should make this more widespread than just a new job. The kind of changes I've shied away from for so long are less scary if thought of in terms of becoming more who I am and less who I thought I was.

One last note: please check out that link on the side for In House. I think these are the best podcasts I've ever found. Seriously, they are a great balance of music and I listen to them constantly.